Part of dieting is adjusting to a new lifestyle and trying to change bad habits. I have made poor decisions in my diet and am now trying to make changes. I have eaten so much food in my past that I have stretched my stomach. Now I am trying to teach my body what it should be eating and what amounts it should be eating and my body is not liking me very much. I still want to eat more and more. Not because I need to, but because I want to eat. I get bored, and I want to eat. I see food and I want to eat it. I smell food and I want to eat it. I drive-by the carnival collection of restaurants and I want to eat it- all of it! When I feel hungry, because my body thinks its hungry, and my mind knows it isn't, I try to drink water. For some reason I can't seem to get my mind and body on the same path to healthy eating. I know that small healthy meals with small healthy snacks are the way to go, but I just want to graze all day. And not just graze, but stuff myself full because it tastes good.
I have read that this hunger is part of the necessary change that I need to go through, but wow is it ever difficult. So to help me deal with the difficulty I have turned to the blog! I need to talk about it and get used to it until my body has adapted. I am also using a networking site to try to connect with other people going through the same challenges. I have a hard time actually interacting with others in my real life because I am overweight and I know that it has hindered my ability to be as outgoing as I could be. I need to have support and I would really like to have a gym buddy. Unfortunately I haven't found someone that has a membership to where I go and I really don't want to add another membership to a gym that’s farther away. So until I discover someone, I guess I'm solo at the gym! I really need my family to understand and that includes my fiancée. I want to look and feel better for myself and for him. He and my children deserve for me to be healthy and I can't continue to be overweight and stay healthy. I want for him and I to look great together. I don't want to think about people looking at us thinking "He's so good-looking! Why is he with a fat pig like her?" I know I shouldn't care what people think, but in turn they have a few things right.
Being fat is awful. It restricts your life in so many ways. You get winded walking. You don't fit well in airplane seats. You can't ride certain roller coasters. There are so many more to list! Not to mention that overall, clothes are ugly. You can't find things that flatter or they are just hideous because you deserve ugly clothes when you are fat.
Americans have gotten a lot of things wrong. Part of the wrong is the nutritional and dietary education. Part is corporate problems. Large chains choke smaller markets where fresh and healthy food is sold. Don't get me wrong, you can buy decent food at these chains but many times it is surrounded by unhealthy alternatives that are cheaper to buy. Junk food is cheap. Junk is really what it is. Read the ingredients. Some things have so many ingredients I can't even pronounce, let alone know how they could impact my body. We have trained ourselves to go cheap, save money in this rough economy and eat things that negatively impact our health. Fast food chains are surviving and striving in this down-ridden economy. It is cheap, easy and fast. Most of it is not healthy. There are usually healthy options, but are somewhat obscure and overpowered by the Hollywood representation of larger than life burgers, burritos and fries. When we as adults eat this day in and day out and in turn feed our kids the same way, what are we teaching them? We are teaching them that this food is normal and all right to eat as a constant in our lives. Humans need constants in their lives. We are creatures of habit and many habits are not good for us. Habits are hard to break and even harder to completely banish.
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